Bloody Darkness (Movie Thoughts: FIfty Shades Darker)

fifty-shades-darker-ab-jpg.jpegI have to admit I liked the first Fifty Shades movie, so I was telling myself I should really see the second part, although I wasn’t really raring or excited to see ‘FIfty Shades Darker,’ the first sequel on the three-parter series based on E.L. James’ books (those books are so wretched I couldn’t fathom reading more than a page of them)  And I should have followed my instincts because this film is a bore – a bloody freaking bore that is a total waste of time. It follows the story a day after the first one ended (I could barely remember it) but basically, Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan) begs Anastasia (Dakota Johnson) to come back to him, and this time no more rules. There are minor complications to their happiness – some pesky stalker woman, peskier boss of Anastasia who won’t leave her alone, a peskiest helicopter accident scare – but none of them will be believable enough to keep your attention. In between those scenes are padded by ‘erotic’ and ‘kinky’ sex scenes that are so robotic that any heat is sucked right out of them. Johnson and Dornan look so bored performing these scenes, and even though I don’t agree with everyone that they do not have chemistry, what little they have is killed by these run-of-the-mill kink stuff. I never believed any of it for a second. Surely both Johnson and Dornan deserve better than this? I bet they are just counting the days till they can both move on. Because, frankly, I have,.

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