Whenever I try to explain to people why I completed watching all three Fifty Shades movies, I answer with two words: Jamie Dornan. I mean, I am on Moviepass so the movie is basically free, so I don’t think it is such a major waste of time to spend two hours with Jamie Dornan almost completely naked. Right? Right? I mean, I can justify that, right?
Because I really feel like I need to. This third installment, ‘Fifty Shades Freed,’ isn’t the worst of the lost (that would be ‘Fifty Shades Darker,’ which was dull and boring) I still contend that the first one was surprisingly entertaining. This third one is just fine, as long as you do not take it too seriously. There is no plot here, so don’t even search for one. The film opens with Christian and Anastasia getting married, and then we get some nebulous things like stalkers and imaginary danger. And the two engage in a lot of sex. They are still mostly tame, and maybe that’s from me being very jaded, although there is a butt plug involved in one of them (off-camera) so there’s some deviation.
But other than that, the only thing for me here is Dornan, who is cute. He seems to be bored and rolling his eyes while acting, but then again most probably in the cast, and the audience are in on the same joke at this point. Hopefully next Valentine’s Day the world gets a movie release that’s a real love story.