There are bad movies that you know are going to be bad, and there are some that are just so disappointing. I did not know much about Archie Border’s ‘Under The Eiffel Tower’ except for its premise – a man proposes under the Eiffel Tower, and wouldn’t you agree that the idea just seems so romantic? But that plot point is used so ridiculously in this film, and the rest of it is even worse. I never believed in any of the story, specifically the love story between the two main characters. Matt Walsh and Judith Godreche try but the script is dead on arrival, and you can’t unbury the dead. I checked out of the story fairly early on and never got back in. Sure, the film is on the short side, but I probably could have better used my time napping.
From France we go now to Germany, specifically Berlin. The city is host to the newest film of the “Cities of Love” series, and while it is an odd choice (Do you think romantic when you think of the Berlin Wall and Holocaust Memorial?) I can play teh game. The film consists of ten short films, all kind of connected by one story line of two people meeting cute , a street angel and a street musician. There are some interesting people contributing here – Neil LaBute writes one of them – but it’s all so disjointed that a nice little short about a trans woman (played by Diego Luna) and a teenager gets lost in all the other noise. I mildly liked most of it, except for one storyline (the LaBute one, starring Mickey Rourke, natch) that was kind of creepy. And my Gerald Nolan Funk is here, dancing, so it can’t bee too bad.