How Much Is That Doggie In The Window (Television Thoughts: Marrying Millions, S01 E01, Lifetime)

mamillSometimes you just want to watch something on television thats really trashy where you want to just react and roll your eyes and judge people, and that is exactly what I did with the first episode of ‘Marrying Millions’ on Lifetime. It’s just one of those instances where I couldn’t decide what to watch – I start and stop shows feeling aimless. Well, when I chanced upon this show, it stuck at me enough for me not to touch the remote, so… I endured. And boy, what a heap of crap this is – we follow a bunch of couples wherein one of them is extremely wealthy, and the other not. Yes, a ‘Prince And The Pauper’ type of situation. And as much as I do believe in the powers of love, I am also bitter and cynical and can spot a gold digger when I see one. There is Jim and Brianna, and he is 60, and she is 21. I mean, surely, that’s pure love right? (eye roll) And there’s the footballer’s ex-wife who is dating her daughter’s friend. That’s all well and good, but for each to pretend that it’s not just physical… Don’t get me wrong, if I had all the money in the world, i would procure myself the most expensive boy toy so I am not one top judge, My one question is – if these people were so rich, why would they join a reality show? I am hooked.

Sweet Sweet Fantasy (Television Thoughts: Mariah’s World, Sundays on E!)

e9f99151cf672de9378d294c7a5f1765Mariah Carey’s new “documentary show”  is quite possibly my new favorite show for the Winter season.  It’s on E! and is in reality show format, but she refuses to call ti as such, and in a lot of sense she is right. Because this is not reality  that’s similar to the Krdashian shows – this is an alternative reality of sorts, because this is Mariah Carey playing on the persona of Mariah Carey, and what’s the most fun about it? She is in on the joke. Why else would the show open with ‘Bianca,’ who is Carey’s ‘evil’ alter ego cum nemesis, who sports a bad British accent. And then we see Carey herself, resplendent with plunging necklines, diamond jewels jumping in the Mediterranean wearing such?  yes, in a sense, Carey is the great divas. She is one to aspire to, without the modern earthiness of a Katy Perry or a Beyonce.

And truth be told, I found more respect for her as an artist, as she is one of those rarer breeds who do everything: she composes, she arranges, and goes into every detail of her music, as well as her image. Some people look at this show as a desperate attempt of a crumbling pop star, but I don’t even think it’s even that way – this is Mariah giving us all facets of Mariah, the sweet sweet fantasy. I love it – it’s winkingly campy, and self-referential and fabulous at the same time. And I will be tuning in to see what’s next of her diva adventures!

Back In The Garden State (Television Thoughts: Real Housewives Of New Jersey Season 7 Premiere, Bravo)

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I was never a big fan of ‘Real Housewives Of New Jersey’ even though I should be, being an ex-New Jersey resident. (I much prefer the cosmopolitan atmosphere of the New York housewives from the down-to-earthness of the New Jersey gals) But I saw the show on and off, though more off. I of course tuned in part of last season, just to see the sendoff of Theresa Guidice to prison. She was one of the ones I really disliked, and it didn’t help matters that up until the very end she was trying to play victim, as if it’s not really clear to everyone that she had a hand in what she was accused of. So yes, of course the franchise closed for a year while she was ‘away,’ and now that she has been released (this actually happened in December 2015) the cameras are rolling again.

So what have we got here? Well, Jacqueline is back, of course, to torment her ex-BB Theresa. And Melissa is, too, as she opens her new boutique called ‘Envy.’ And we get two new housewives: Dolores, who seems to have ties with all the housewives (she is boring me already) and someone named Siggy, whose entrance is stunning – she i swearing turban and sunglasses, because she has just had a facelift in Boca Raton. (So many yummy things in that sentence) Well, this season may not be a snoozefest for me after all.

And of course, they document Theresa’s homecoming, and it’s waterworks city. I may or may not admit that I kinda sorta shed a little tear as she sees her kids for the first time back in her house (She revealed she saw them once a week so I feel kind of stupid crying) But – there STILL seems to be little remorse from Theresa. She says “I’ve been fooled once and never again,” still claiming innocence, still miss goody two shoes.

So will this make me go and keep on watching? We’ll just have to wait and see..

Isn’t It Rich? (Television Thoughts, Rich Kids Of Instagram, Mondays on E4)

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Rich Kids of Instagram, E4

 

You know you have that one friend on Facebook who posts his just-bought handbag or shoe and then tags it #blessed? Well, imagine a whole television show full of those people, and it is on E4 every Monday (it started the 4th of July)  Titled ‘Rich Kids Of Instagram,’ it chronicles a fistful of people revel in all things material. I don’t know what possessed me to start watching the show, but I did. And yes, it is as bad as it sounds. There’s Iman Lopez, a fashion designer who parades around in heels and has a professional photography team chronicling her every move (she can’t be photographed on her right)  I mean, I guess I could commend her for trying to earn a living, although I don’t think Karl Lagerfeld should feel threatened by any of her designs. And there’s two kids from Cheshire who go around buying half a million pound cars at their whim while still pimply faced (I venture they should spend some of their money on a dermatologist)  It’s not even fun enough to hate watch because these people take themselves too seriously. The real crime here is that even with all their riches, these people still manage to look unattractive, and their demeanor and attitude makes them uglier, if that is even possible.

Americans Abroad (Television Thoughts, Tour Group, Bravo)

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The idea seems like a cliché that you wonder how it has not been done before. But imagine ‘The Real World’ and mix it up with a travel show and you have got ‘Tour Group,” Bravo’s newest docu-series (read: reality show)  It took me a while to start watching this, but I got pulled in tonight, and, well I liked it – a lot. I think this is because of the always-wanderlust in me. The show mixes eleven people and three tour guides as they travel to exotic locations in the world. The first episodes start in Marrakesh, Morocco, and of course we get the perfunctory comment “This just looks like the second movie of Sex And The City.” Of course, that comment comes from Heather and Amy, two high maintenance girls from Las Vegas. They are BFFs, and it looks like their relationship[ is going to get strained as they travel. There’s Jeff and Jetta, an interracial couple from Chicago – he has just recovered from a scooter accident and is fragile. She is a sassy black girl, and her attitude will be entertaining, for sure.  They are setting up a love triangle with Jarred and a twin set of Misty and Jenna (boring) and then there’s combative ex-model Michele. Luckily, they are skimping on the drama for now, and focusing more on the tour. The soukh in Marrakesh was a site to behold, and I openly wept with them as they visited Rwanda and saw gorillas. But this is Bravo, and I can feel the drama coming.

Wedding Bell Blues (Television Thoughts, Bride And Prejudice Season 1, FYI)

bride_and_prejudice_s1_vertical1I just finished binge-watching the six episodes of “Bride And Prejudice,” which was shown on FYi network. This is a docu-series highlighting three couples who just jot engaged. But, because of either faith, race, or sexual orientation, their families are against these unions. You would think that in this day and age, do these things still exist? I knew they did, but in this show we have all these people unabashedly wearing their hate on their sleeve. It actually stunned me to hear someone like Ashlyn, speaking of her cousin’s fiancé a statement like  “I hate him because he is white.”

But they did, and these couples have to go along with their plans, trying to navigate and appease everyone. I cannot imagine dealing with some selfish relatives, who made these couples’ matrimonial plans all about themselves. Eugene and Samantha have an interfaith union, and Eugene’s family is so aghast that he is marrying a non-Jew. His brother holds the ceremony up for more than an hour because he couldn’t decide if he wanted to support the ceremony. We have Adam and Brianna who is an interracial couple, and we get to see one particular member of her family, the aforementioned Ashlyn who refused to be a bridesmaid because she was against the marriage. Gay couple Chris and Lou rounds up the three couples,  and we get Chris’s homophobic father, who refuses to have anything to do with the ceremony.

Some storylines veer into Bridezilla territory – Lou has a mental break down because pople were complaining about the Palm Springs heat during their run through (not a good look, hon) and at these instances I started rolling my eyes. But there are more genuine feelings here than those. I found myself invested in their stories, and of course, they all had happily-ever-after ceremonies that seemed a little inauthentic for old cynical me. I hope these bigoted folks see how their hate is magnified on television and realize that whatever happens, it is love that always wins.